Friday, October 24, 2008

Everyday Life

I really don't think I live in a "NORMAL" household. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and keep going. This week has been much the same as any other week for us. Living with Scott you live on the edge of censorship. He doesn't always keep his mouth shut when he should. Lucky for me Delaney is much the same.

The other day Scott heard a joke on the radio and felt the need to call my mom at work to leave it on her voicemail for when she got their. Here it is:

Why do squirrels always swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.

I often get phone calls from Scott and Joe asking what I'm wearing. The proper response is nothing.

Years ago when we were first dating, Scott was out at my parents house, my mom was making pizza with green olives. Scott was asking my mom what it was and what does it taste like. My mom said he could try one. Scott tried an olive. You could tell he didn't want to be rude and spit it out but he didn't want to eat it either. My mom said to spit it out if he didn't like it. After that Scott TOTALLY UNCENSORED said "Man, I need to bend over and lick my ass to get the taste out of my mouth."

Scott has also decided we no longer need to save for Poop to go to college she can pay for it herself. He calls her "his little striper." The ONLY thing she will wear when we are at home is leg warmers, panties and my high heals. God forbid if music comes on the TV, she starts to dance. She will spin, do a booty bounce and then slap her butt.

Delaney is forever telling me that her "butt cheek is hang out."

A few weeks ago I was out at our warehouse for work and one of the guys asked if he told me something would I get offended. Really living with Scott is that possible?

2 comments:

DearGina said...

rofl!! OMG Scott! Did your Mama stick the kitchen sink soap in his mouth?????
I have always thought that all families are dysfunctional. To what degree, varies. You're safe.

Dave said...

Sounds like Liz's world...