Confused...

Everyday we are bombarded with information on conservation. I am confused on what I am supposed to conserve. One minute I am supposed to conserve water. The next minute it is the trees. Not to leave out gas and electricity. Save our Natural Resources. Recycle EVERYTHING! Ride your bike. Take a bus. When is it enough?

Today alone I got an e-mail telling me the benefits of using cloth diapers. REALLY! Give me a break! Okay I understand it takes forever for a Pamper to decompose in the landfill. BUT what about the water I have to use to rinse the cloth diaper in, the spray (that is creating the hole in the ozone) I need to use to sanitized the bucket and my house with, the water to clean the dirty diaper bucket, the gas for the truck to pick up and drop off the cloth diapers and never mind the additional water and chemicals to clean the cloth diaper. What about those resources?

Over the weekend I got my water bill, they so nicely enclosed 5 sheets of paper (I assume the paper came from a tree). A few pages of that was their newsletter on how to conserve water. The man who writes the newsletter (I am assuming it is a man, who is bald and has a beard that makes him look like a ZZ Top reject) states that I need to take a 5 minute shower with a low flow shower head. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! First off I have yet to be able to get all of my hair wet with a low flow shower head in under 5 minutes. In that 5 minutes how am I supposed to wash and condition my hair, wash my body and on a rare occasion shave my legs? See this is how I know a man wrote this. By the way some of his other brilliant tips do full loads of laundry and dishes. No really? I enjoy doing both of those so much I wanted to do it twice. Don't leave the hosing running while you wash the car. If the next newsletter tells me to only flush once a day I will nut up! Maybe I should started peeing on trees, no flushing or watering the tree, two birds one stone?

Now lately their has been a big push on using cloth napkins instead of paper napkins and cloth towels instead of paper towels. I will be saving a tree but what of the water and electricity to keep washing the towels and cloth napkins?

Never mind the electric company. For them I am supposed to cut may usage between peek hours of 2pm and 7pm. Set my thermostat to 82 degrees and 10 degrees higher when I am not home. Buy all new appliances that are energy efficient and pay to have the old ones hauled off, to save money. Re-insulate my entire house and put in new windows, which I am require by the city to find a program to recycle the old stuff.

The garbage company demands that I pay for and use properly 3 garbage cans. One is for actual garbage, one is for recycling as much as I possible can and the last is for green waste. This has also caused me to have neurotic 3 years old who spends too much time sorting her garbage to make sure it is in the right can. God forbid we go somewhere that doesn't recycle.

To top it all off yesterday Costco started having a coupon (printed on paper) for $50 an ECO Composter with base. GREAT! Just what I need. I can recycle more stuff, to make more dirt, to plant stuff that is going to need watered. And I can only buy this online, so that takes electricity to order. Never mind the truck that is going to need fuel to deliver, which the exhaust is helping that hole in the ozone!

For now I am going to conserve my time and energy. I am going to keep driving my Suburban, that way I can financially support 2 gas station employees every month. I will shop at my farmers market with cloth bags, I will be supporting a few migrant workers. AND last but not least I will start wiping my butt with a spotted owl to keep a few loggers working!